Now, I found this a very strange thing to say to someone that you just met. Personally, I can’t imagine many situations where I would want to ask someone if they regretted their current marriage. I laughed it off and said, no, that I loved being married, that I’d do it all over again if I could.
She persisted, “Do you feel like you’ve missed out on life since you got married young?”
No–I think I gained a lot of life experiences and have had far more adventures with my husband than I would have been brave enough to attempt on my own. Getting married meant that I had to grow up quickly, of course, but there’s nothing wrong with that! Immaturity is rarely a desirable trait.
As she asked, and I answered, I thought to myself–how sad it is that a young woman like this girl looks at the idea of marriage and clearly finds it to be something like a prison, something to be regretted. But, in all likelihood, what else has she seen of marriage?
However, I know and I believe that God didn’t create marriage to be a relationship characterized by brokenness, by regret, and by the feeling of being trapped and missing out on life. What can I do, with my tiny bit of marriage and life experience, to be a witness to my younger classmates and show them that marriage can really be something awesome? That’s what I’m wondering right now.
In basic fact, I’m spoiled rotten! What I feel like telling those who wonder if I regret getting married at the age of 19 is that, through marriage, I got a best friend to live with, a permanent date, a sugar daddy, a dance partner, an accountant (he does the taxes), and a personal-sized, energy-efficient heater for all the cold winter days–and who could argue with a deal like that? Even on the days when Angel and I are frustrating each other–what I have there is the opportunity to rely on God and learn how very weak and sinful I am, and realize just how much I need the work of the Holy Spirit in me! (Those days are good ones for praying, I can tell ya!)
It breaks my heart to hear 18 and 19 year old girls saying, “I’m never getting married, I couldn’t stand to live like that” as if marriage itself is an undesirable lifestyle. In some cases, divorce may be necessary, but unfortunately, the divorces and the broken marriages of our parents’ generation have created a generation of young people who aren’t at all convinced that marriage can be a good thing. Some who I’ve met even seem afraid of marriage. And all that we young married people can do is try our best to show them that marriage can be a blessing.
Featured Image Photo Credit // Creative Commons