As women, sometimes we have the tendency to let our emotions do the talking when it comes to making decisions in our lives. This is especially common when we began new relationships. As a result of this, many of us end up in relationships where we wish we had done things differently, or we wish known more in the beginning.
However, sometimes we’re just so happy to be with this guy that we’re afraid to dig too deep or start asking too many questions for fear that we might mess things up or scare him away before things even get started.
But we have to do that. By dating someone, you’re agreeing that you could possibly end up being committed to this person through marriage and maybe even have an offspring with them.
Because of this, we have to stir things up and ask some questions. And if you happen to scare him away by asking him questions, then he isn’t worth having a relationship with you!
Below are some questions you can ask yourself before you change that Facebook status to In A Relationship. These questions aren’t anything revolutionary and it’s also possible that there could be some teeny little grey areas, but more than likely, these are questions that you can work your way through before you decide to be in a committed relationship:
- Have you ever heard him talk about his parents? If so, is he respectful?
- Would he rather TALK to you than text?
- Is he respectful toward you around his friends?
- Would you be okay with him spending time with your dad (or the fatherly figure in your life) when you aren’t around?
- Would you be okay allowing him to see when your makeup/hair is not done?
- Does he have a father/mentor whom he seeks to model himself after?
- Does he give you more non-physical compliments than physical compliments?
- Does he have a job to support himself?
- Does he handle his money well?
- Do you have the same beliefs when it comes what matters to you most?
- Has he met your parents?
- Have you talked about short term goals?
- Do your short term goals align?
- Have you talked about long term goals?
- Do your long term goals align?
- Does he stop when you say “stop?”
- Does he respect your body?
- Have you had dialogue about what you believe and why?
- Do you know anything about his past relationships?
- Do he know anything about your past relationships?
- Is his number one, two, and three reasons for being attracted to you non-physical?
- Are your number one, two, and three reasons for being attracted to him non-physical?
- Do the people you trust the most approve of him?
- Do the people he trust the most approve of you?
- Is he involved in his local church, or charity, missions, or has a desire to help others?
- Has he ever offered to help with a project or something you were working on or stressed about?
- Does he try his best to stay clear of dangerous activities (texting/drinking and driving, speeding, other illegal activities)?
- Is he willing to admit when he is wrong?
- Is he a person of integrity (not willing to cheat, steal, or lie even if no one is looking)?
- Is he sensitive towards people with disabilities, people who are elderly, etc.?
- Do you have the same beliefs when it comes to children?
- Do you feel comfortable when he’s around the people you are closest to?
- Does he show an interest in the things you are interested in?
- Have you ever seen him help someone?
- Do you feel safe around him?
- Do you feel that he would protect you in a time of need?
- Do you feel that he will stand up for you?
- Do you feel good about standing up for him?
- Do you see him as someone you could spend the rest of your life (and maybe even have children) with?
- Does he love God more than he loves anyone else?
If your answer is yes to most of these questions, then it sounds like you may have a good thing going.
If your answer was no more than a couple of times, you should really talk to this guy and maybe just spend some more time as friends and get to know each other!
Looking for more on this topic? Check out these books!